


Better That We Break

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-07
Updated: 2010-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 07:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You don’t know what you’re asking!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better That We Break

Sam’s sitting on one of the motel beds with Lucifer resting between his spread legs. Sam strokes his back, trying to get up the nerve to ask what he wants to.

“Can I see your wings?”

Lucifer stiffens and jerks away. “ _No!_ ”

Sam winces. He figured that was the reaction he’d get. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“You don’t know what you’re asking!” Lucifer hisses at him. “You forget, Sam, I was in Hell for thousands of years! You think they’ll be beautiful, glorious, something, but they’re not!” He sags back against him suddenly. “They’re not,” he repeats quietly.

“I’m sorry. I just…I’d like to see them. I don’t care what they look like.”

Lucifer cranes his neck to peer at him suspiciously, then sighs. “I suppose you’ve earned the right.” He gets up and stands next to the bed, concentrating. When his wings materialize, Sam gasps.

They’re so totally covered with ash and soot that nothing of their original color can be seen, but that’s not what prompts Sam’s reaction. The ends of the feathers are ragged, half-stripped. Some of them are missing entirely. And there’s a gaping hole the size of his fist in the top of Lucifer’s right wing, as if something had burned clear through it.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” he blurts out without thinking, then curses his thoughtless mouth, because of _course_ it hurts.

Lucifer shrugs, and his wings ripple slightly. “I don’t notice it anymore.”

Sam winces again, thinking that Lucifer’s been in agony so long it doesn’t even register anymore. “Is there anything that can heal…”

Lucifer shakes his head. “No. Well,” he adds as an afterthought, “God could, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

Sam has an idea. “Come here,” he says, getting up and heading for the bathroom.

Lucifer looks bemused, but follows him.

Once inside, Sam turns on the shower and strips off his shirt.

“Sam? What are you doing?”

“Get undressed,” Sam says, kicking off his shoes and sitting on the edge of the tub to remove his jeans and boxers.

Lucifer does, and his wings ripple, becoming semi-transparent.

“No. Leave them.”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow, but lets Sam pull him into the shower.

Sam puts Lucifer in front of him, and picks up a washcloth. Lucifer watches him curiously.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Sam, but they don’t exist on this plane. You won’t be able to–” He cuts off with a gasp as Sam strokes the cloth over his wing.

The cloth alone doesn’t do much, so Sam gets out the soap, lathering Lucifer’s feathers and letting the spray rinse them. He cleans each one painstakingly, careful of the places where the wings are damaged.

He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised that Lucifer’s wings are pearl-white. All the stories said he was the brightest of God’s angels.

When he’s finished, Lucifer steps out of the shower, ruffling his wings to dry them. They’re still ragged, still damaged, but now the residue of Hell no longer clings to them. Lucifer turns around, looking at his wings in the mirror, and swallows.

He kisses Sam softly, and Sam hears the thanks he can’t voice.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Better That We Break](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10410156) by [SamBam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamBam/pseuds/SamBam)




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